Understanding the original model of Emotional Intelligence by Salovey and Mayer

We hear a lot about emotional intelligence these days — in leadership, in education, even on social media. But long before it became a buzzword, it was a serious psychological model developed by two researchers: Peter Salovey and John Mayer.

You’ve probably heard of Daniel Goleman, who popularised EQ in his bestselling books, but it was Salovey and Mayer who coined the term emotional intelligence back in 1990. They weren’t writing for HR departments or self-help readers, they were asking: What if emotions weren’t the enemy of reason? What if they were part of our intelligence?

Wait, so what is emotional intelligence really?

At its core, emotional intelligence is the ability to:

• recognise emotions in yourself and others,

• understand how emotions work,

• use them to guide thought and behaviour,

• and manage them — both in yourself and in your relationships.

Unlike personality traits (like optimism or empathy), Salovey and Mayer’s model treats EQ as a set of abilities — something you can observe, learn, and develop over time.

They divided it into four main branches, which build on each other like a pyramid.

1. Perceiving Emotions: The Foundation of EQ

What it means:

The ability to accurately detect emotions — in faces, voices, gestures, posture, and even artistic expression.

In daily life:

• Picking up on someone’s discomfort in a meeting, even if they say nothing.

• Noticing when your own mood has shifted, and identifying what triggered it.

• Recognising sadness behind a smile — or tension behind a polite “I’m fine”.

This ability includes self-perception (emotional awareness) and other-perception (empathy through observation).

Why it matters:

If we can’t perceive emotions correctly, we’ll misread situations, misunderstand others, and struggle to connect. It’s like trying to have a conversation in a language we only half-speak.

How to improve it:

• Pay attention to body language and tone, not just words.

• Practise “naming to tame” — identifying what you’re feeling in the moment.

• Observe people when emotions are high: what subtle shifts happen in their body, face, or rhythm of speech?

Reflection:

What signals do I tend to miss in emotionally charged situations? Am I more tuned into others than myself, or the other way around?

2. Using Emotions to Facilitate Thinking

What it means:

The ability to use emotions to guide problem-solving, decision-making, and creativity. Emotions become tools, not distractions.

We often think of logic and emotion as opposites, but Salovey and Mayer saw emotions as organisers of cognition. They influence our attention, motivation, and judgment.

In daily life:

• Feeling anxious before a presentation, and using that energy to prepare better.

• Letting curiosity lead you into a new learning experience.

• Pausing to ask, “Is my mood influencing how I’m interpreting this email?”

Why it matters:

Emotions aren’t noise in the system, they are the system. They tell us what matters, where our values lie, and what to prioritise. High EQ means using emotion as a compass, not a steering wheel.

How to improve it:

• Track how emotions affect your focus, creativity, or interpersonal decisions.

• Ask, “What’s the emotional tone of this meeting or conversation?” and “How does that influence what’s said and not said?”

• Explore how different moods affect your problem-solving style — when are you most open-minded? Most cautious?

Reflection:

How do I use emotional states to my advantage? And when do I let them drive me off course?

3. Understanding Emotions: Making Sense of the Storm

What it means:

This is the ability to analyse emotions, understand their causes and outcomes, and grasp how they evolve or interact. It includes emotional vocabulary, complexity, and insight.

In daily life:

• Realising that someone’s anger might stem from fear of being left out.

• Understanding that frustration and disappointment often travel together.

• Recognising emotional patterns, such as how stress leads you to snap at people, then feel guilty afterwards.

This level of EQ requires a level of emotional granularity (being able to tell the difference between irritation and resentment), or between guilt and shame.

Why it matters:

Understanding the structure of emotions helps us regulate them. Without this, we respond reactively or get stuck in feelings we don’t know how to name.

How to improve it:

• Use emotional check-ins: “What am I feeling right now?” followed by “Why?”

• Keep an emotion journal. Track how your emotional states move across the day or week.

• Learn the vocabulary of emotions — it’s a toolset. The more precisely we name, the more clearly we understand.

Reflection:

Do I understand what triggers my own emotional states? And do I tend to misinterpret what others are feeling?

4. Managing Emotions: The Heart of Maturity

What it means:

The ability to regulate your own emotions and influence emotional dynamics in others. It’s about emotional self-control, resilience, and empathy in action.

In daily life:

• Staying composed when someone criticises you unfairly.

• Knowing how to de-escalate tension in a meeting or calm someone who’s upset.

• Being aware of your emotional impact, and choosing how to respond, not just react.

This isn’t about suppressing emotion. It’s about being with the emotion without letting it hijack you — and knowing how to express it in ways that support connection or clarity.

Why it matters:

Self-regulation is what makes all the other abilities useful. Without it, awareness becomes overwhelming and insight doesn’t translate into action.

How to improve it:

• Practise breathing or grounding techniques in moments of emotional intensity.

• Create space between stimulus and response: pause, then choose.

• Build emotional resilience: develop routines that help you bounce back and centre yourself.

Reflection:

How do I typically manage emotional overload? What helps me come back to balance?

Emotional Intelligence is Learnable

Salovey and Mayer weren’t just describing a theory. They were laying the groundwork for a new kind of literacy, one that treats emotions as part of our intelligence, not separate from it.

And the best part? These abilities can be strengthened over time. You can develop them through coaching, journaling, deep conversations, and even fiction, art, or music. Anywhere you learn to pay attention (to yourself and others) you’re practising emotional intelligence.

Food for thought: How much are you giving away about your own feelings without realising it? Maybe someone who has high EQ knows more about how you feel than you do yourself! 

🌱 Emotional Intelligence Self-Assessment

Based on Salovey & Mayer’s Four-Branch Model

How to Use:

Read each statement and rate how true it feels for you right now using this scale:

• 1 – Rarely true

• 2 – Occasionally true

• 3 – Sometimes true

• 4 – Often true

• 5 – Almost always true

🧠 1. Perceiving Emotions

(Emotional awareness in yourself and others)

1. I can usually tell how someone is feeling even when they try to hide it.

2. I’m able to notice subtle shifts in my mood throughout the day.

3. I often pick up on body language or tone changes that others miss.

4. I can tell when my emotional state is starting to affect my thinking.

➤ Score for Perceiving Emotions: ___ / 20

🧭 2. Using Emotions to Facilitate Thinking

(Harnessing emotions to guide thought and problem-solving)

5. I can use my mood to help me be more creative or analytical, depending on what’s needed.

6. I know when to shift my emotional state to focus better.

7. I can recognise how emotions influence decisions — mine and others’.

8. I use emotional “gut feelings” to help guide me through complex situations.

➤ Score for Using Emotions: ___ / 20

🧩 3. Understanding Emotions

(Grasping emotional causes, nuances, and patterns)

9. I can usually explain why I feel the way I do.

10. I understand how emotions like anger, shame, and fear interact or evolve.

11. I’m good at spotting emotional patterns or cycles in myself.

12. I can usually sense what’s really behind someone’s emotional reaction.

➤ Score for Understanding Emotions: ___ / 20

🌬️ 4. Managing Emotions

(Regulating your own emotions and responding to others constructively)

13. I know how to calm myself down when I’m feeling overwhelmed.

14. I rarely say things in the heat of the moment that I later regret.

15. I can help others manage their emotions without invalidating them.

16. I take time to reflect on emotional experiences and learn from them.

➤ Score for Managing Emotions: ___ / 20

🔍 Interpreting Your Results:

Each section has a maximum score of 20. Here’s a rough guide:

• 16–20: A clear strength — this area supports you well.

• 11–15: Emerging skill — you’re building awareness here.

• 6–10: Area for development — lots of room for growth.

• 0–5: Blind spot — worth exploring with curiosity and compassion.

🧘 Reflection Prompts:

1. Which branch scored highest for you? Does that align with how you see yourself emotionally?

2. Which area do you think impacts your relationships or decisions most when it’s under strain?

3. What’s one small practice you could add to strengthen your lowest-scoring area?

🪞 Emotion Spotting: Recognising Emotions in Self and Others

✨ Objective:

To become more attuned to how emotions manifest in both internal experiences and external cues — especially tone of voice, which is often the first clue that something deeper is going on.

👇 Step 1: Emotion List

Choose a handful of emotions to explore. You can come back to the others later or build a personal “emotion map” over time.

Joy, Sadness, Anger, Anxiety, Embarrassment, Guilt, Frustration, Contentment, Envy, Shame, Excitement, Disappointment, Relief, Resentment, Affection

✍️ Step 2: Observation Table

Reflect on how each emotion shows up in your body, tone of voice, and behaviour, and how you tend to notice it in others.

Emotion Chart

Here are some ideas: 

Joy

Warmth in the chest, lightness, smiling, laughter, open posture. The voice becomes lighter, more melodic, and sometimes louder.

Tone: Bright, warm, and fluctuating pitch. Body Language: Relaxed, open, and expressive. Speech: Energetic, quicker pace, lots of enthusiasm. Eyes: Sparkling, wide, with a lively and engaged look.: Energetic, quicker pace, lots of enthusiasm. Eyes: Sparkling, wide, with a lively and engaged look.

Anger

Tightness in the chest and jaw, clenched fists, rapid or short breaths, louder voice, rigid posture, sometimes shaking or tensing.

Tone: Harsh, sharp, or clipped with sudden loudness. Body Language: Tense, rigid posture, clenched fists, flaring nostrils. Speech: Rapid, sometimes stumbling due to frustration.

Anxiety

Fast heartbeat, shallow breathing, tense muscles, shaky voice, feeling of tightness in the stomach or chest, often speaking too quickly.

Tone: High-pitched, breathy, hesitant. Body Language: Fidgeting, looking away, wringing hands, pacing. Speech: Quick, stumbling over words, self-correction or over-apologising.

Sadness/Pain

Heaviness in the limbs, slumped posture, soft or low voice, slow speech, tightness in the throat, sometimes clenching jaw or holding chest.

Tone: Flat, soft, or subdued, with a lower pitch. Body Language: Drooping posture, downturned mouth, slow movements, sometimes holding or clutching affected area. Speech: Slow pace, quiet voice, may trail off. Eyes: Eyes appear downcast, glassy, or dull, with a melancholy expression. The eyes may seem clouded, reflecting emotional weight. In moments of pain, the eyes may show a strained look, squinted or wide, with a focused intensity reflecting discomfort.

Excitement

Quickening of the pulse, a feeling of lightness or energy, faster speech, increased gestures, speaking in a higher pitch, rapid breathing.

Tone: High, fast-paced, rising pitch, fluctuating. Body Language: Wide gestures, fast movement, eyes wide or sparkling, lean-forward posture. Speech: Overlapping, rapid, enthusiastic.

Embarrassment

Blushing, feeling of warmth in the face, self-consciousness, sometimes stumbling over words, awkward laughter or nervous giggles.

Tone: Quiet, high-pitched or rising in pitch, sometimes stuttering. Body Language: Avoiding eye contact, shifting posture, fidgeting. Speech: Awkward pauses, self-deprecating humour.

Frustration

Tightness in the chest or head, furrowed brows, clenched fists, shaking head, agitated movements, short or abrupt sentences.

Tone: Tense, short, sometimes sharp or exasperated. Body Language: Furrowed brow, clenched jaw, crossed arms, tapping foot. Speech: Fast, interrupted, clipped words.

Relief

Deep breath out, relaxing of muscles, a sense of lightness, calm settling in, shoulders dropping, exhaling loudly.

Tone: Sighing or calming, softer and more even. Body Language: Relaxed, shoulders dropping, often a relaxed smile. Speech: Slower pace, more deliberate, clear.

Guilt

Tightness in the stomach, avoidance of eye contact, downturned lips, sometimes self-critical gestures like rubbing the forehead or face.

Tone: Low, hesitant, sometimes apologetic. Body Language: Avoiding eye contact, shoulders hunched, nervous shifting. Speech: Quiet, often tentative or full of apologies.

Surprise

Quick, sharp intake of breath, raised eyebrows, eyes wide, sometimes mouth agape, sudden upright posture or lean forward.

Tone: High-pitched, wide fluctuations in pitch. Body Language: Raised eyebrows, eyes wide, head tilted. Speech: Exclamations, short bursts of words, often breathless.

🔍 Step 3: Reflection Prompts

1. Which emotional cues in tone of voice are easiest for you to pick up on?

2. Are there certain emotions you feel but struggle to express through tone?

3. Do you tend to misread any tones (e.g. mistaking nervousness for coldness)?

4. How might your own tone affect how others interpret your emotions — or respond to them?

🧠 Try This: Listening Challenge

Spend a day tuning into how people speak rather than what they say. Notice changes in:

• Pitch (high/low)

• Pace (fast/slow)

• Volume (soft/loud)

• Musicality (flat/varied tone)

• Pauses (hesitant or deliberate?)

You might be surprised by how much is revealed between the words.